"Speed" Skates, huh?

So, you may recall that my first adult pair of skates looked like this:

What I'm kind of embarrassed to admit is that... I skated on those bad mamajamas for a good 6 months before our coach was like, "Eh, you might wanna get some real skates."

Oh, you mean like "speed" skates?? Is that why I feel like an exhausted workhorse at the end of every practice?

The timing was perfect because a lot of the Dolls were about to make a group order to the only aggressive speed skate shop we knew of at the time:

All the way from Canadia! When they finally arrived... I can't even tell you... it was sooooo magical...

I skated like grease lightning amazing, like the wind, like a unicorn incarnate, like a magical roller skating Xanadu miracle!!!

For about an hour.

And then a nightmare began that would last me over four years... 

Everyone gets blisters.This wasn't that. I would have loved to have blisters.

This was bloody bloody feet. Every practice. FOR YEARS.

 You see, friend, I have this lucky combination of knocked knees,

 FLAT feet

And this totally unnecessary-fuckin-where's-my-evolution-Darwin??? extra ankle bone.

Seriously, I have 2 ankles on each foot, it's stupid.

I'd show you a picture of my extra ankles and scars...
but my feet are so haggard and horrifying; at this point I don't even let myself look at them.

See, skates aren't made for flat footed freaks with extra ankles. So the skin would rip right off the extra ankle every time I skated.

No blister, just an open mouth on my foot.

Well, even if my feet were bloody I would just put my big girl panties on and tough it out, because being in real skates for the first time was amazing.

Good equipment really does make a difference!

Here's some tips for the unfortunately footed:

For years I wouldn't skate without these.

Or these: website!

And if you can afford them....

Riedell 965's

I think I had to wait till Xmas of 2009 before I got a boot that didn't make my feet bleed!!! With the 965's I don't even need the wrap or the blister pads... it's been a real blessing.

Anywho... please believe that if I can overcome all the "gifts" nature gave me that should make it impossible for me to be good at skating, you can too, fellow knock kneed, flat footed mouth breathers!

If you've had physical adversities you've been able to overcome, please feel free to tell me all about it.

You can get over pretty much any limitation, if you're passionate enough about something.

Have a super rad day today!

And here's my parting gift!