You know how sometimes you think you're ok at something, and then you see someone who really knows what they're doing and you feel shameful for having had any confidence in it at all?
That's what my first practice with the LA Derby Dolls was like. But then, just getting there and in the door was already a challenge.
I sat for 3 hours in traffic that looked like this, to get to my first roller derby practice:
And then once I got in the door, the first person I smiled at looked away as if I'd done something horribly offensive...
And then I quickly found that skating under the influence at night with my friends was not the same as being a skater. At all... I totally got
Hmm... confusion.
I got all these signs that derby was for me, but here I was unable to keep up with these scary (on average, 10 years older than I was) women who intimidated the holy fuck out of me.
They'd been practicing for 3 months before I got there, and it was hard to see how I would ever catch up.
I know, that's crazy talk. How intimidating must it be to join now??? But that's how I felt at the time.
I spent the next two days in bed, unable to move.
Partly because every muscle in my aching body was utterly pissed off that it had been asked to do something as foreign as exercise.
But also partly out of an existential crises...
I had received so many signs! How could roller derby not be for me? It had to be for me. I knew it before I started, but the reality of all... it was confusing.
Right before I actually got there it felt like destiny... Now it felt more like... density.
I made the decision to give it another try. And thank fucking god I did!!!
Have an amazing day today! Here's my parting gift:
No comments:
Post a Comment