Roller Derby Sociology: Part 5 (Communication On Internets)

I know I'm treading in scary waters right now.
In a sport full of women that don't like authority... here I am giving advice!

Clearly, I'm totally cuckoo. With good reason, though.

When I travel to coach leagues, interpersonal relations are often the type of stuff people really need the most help with. Sometimes they're aware of it. Sometimes they're not.

I love coaching roller derby strategy and technique. But if a league is imploding from the inside out over personal conflicts...

All the strategy in the world's not gonna fix that.

I'm actually at a point where I can watch a team play and usually be able to tell right away if they really like each other or not.

Your interpersonal relations will inevitably effect every other aspect of your team dynamics.

And don't get me wrong, you can get to a pretty competitive level on talent and hard work alone. But without chemistry, can you stay there? Can you really reach your team's full potential? 

Would you even want to anymore?

So Communication is pretty epically-imperatively-goddamn important. And when that's failed, it's Conflict Resolution time.

In this Blog I'll talk a little more about Expression, and the next one I'll get to Conflict Resolution.

I'm not ready to leave the topic of Expression behind yet, because last post was mainly about In-Person Communication. Which is important.

But so much of roller derby communication happens Online!

And somehow careless things said in internet world have the power to destroy all kinds of good things happening in... the real world... 

And for the two to be mutually beneficial and co-operative, online communication needs to be addressed.

Online Expression Advice:

1) Passion Posting

If you're pounding your keys loudly, re-reading and re-editing it to say exactly the right thing, if your blood is boiling... 

That's not an email you can send and feel good about later. 

Is it possible to be livid and reasonable at the same time? I would submit, for your consideration... No, it's not.

But it IS totally possible to ruin relationships with people in your league, alienate yourself and others, and cause all kinds of regrettable debate over one careless email. 

So.... a No Passion Posting policy could serve you well. Make frequent use of your "DRAFT" button, in these cases.

(I'm a little embarrassed at how long it took me to figure this out.)

2) Group vs Individual Communication

I've seen a lot of people hide behind the anonymity of the group to get the attention of an individual.

But is it positive or negative attention that you want? 

When you post a question/suggestion/thinly-veiled-passive-aggressive-complaint for one person to a whole group... or Facebook... the one may likely resent the fact that you did not have the spine to contact them directly. 

Or feel that you tried to humiliate them, publicly.

Being heard, and communicating, are two different things. 

When you communicate, everyone has a chance to win. When you're simply "heard," you can be kind of an exhausting person to deal with. 

This also happens when you have a positive response for one person, but always make the whole group have to see it. We all get a lot of our own emails, who wants to have to read someone else's too?

Try to recognize if what you have to say is for an individual, or really for a group, and communicate accordingly. 

3) Facebook, Twitter, and Blogs vs... A Diary

Some of your most intimate, passionate feelings... will pass and change tomorrow. But things that are put in print can leave an impression for a lifetime, if you're not careful. 

Consider dumping your more explosive feelings in an actual Journal or Diary before going straight to telling every person you know how you feel. 

Because you may have a more mature response 3 days from now than you do in the heat of the moment, where we're often taking no one else's feelings into consideration.

I would probably come off as the crabbiest bitch in the world if I didn't make a regular process of dumping negative/explosive/overwhelming feelings on paper, instead of people. 

I'm not saying it's wrong to use social media as a form of self expression. I'm obviously doing it right now! Just consider your level of passion at the time of writing. 

That's enough words for today. I know you're a busy person.  : D

Have a cooled-out-well-considered-expertly-communicated-inspiring awesome rad day today!

 

Parting gifts, till next we meet!