I'm Retired?

I used to always (inwardly) cringe when skaters would refer to no-longer-playing-roller-derby as "retired."

As mentioned previously, I am someone who considers semantics important.

And the word "retired" seems to imply an age and stature that none of us are old and experienced enough to have reached.

Rest in peace, Ann. <3

Ann Calvelo retired. We just play or don't play.

At least, that's how I used to think.

 

Plus, there's just such a finality to the word...like you can't change your mind.

But I always change my mind!

I feel that, given new information  (or a more inspired point of view) a person should always reserve the right to change their mind...

I guess I kind of knew it was true in Chicago, December 2010 at the Red Bull Banked Jam.

I believe this is Ying O Fire, rocking the Windy City Flag

Red Bull hired me to coach Windy City Rollers on the transition from flat to banked track, before their game against LA Derby Dolls at the UIC Pavilion in Chicago.

You know that feeling you get, when you're watching a bout and going crazy, because you just wanna jump on the track and start playing??

I've always had it so bad!!!

Well, in Chicago, I didn't feel that.

What I felt was something different; I was proud of and happy for the people on the track. I was perfectly content to be watching the game, and cheering on the people I'd been coaching that week...

 

And I was also happy for roller derby. 

To see a great flat track team like Windy City, playing in a banked track game against the league I started with, LA Derby Dolls... It made me swell with pride!

 

It's taken me 7 months to really figure this out. I've been a little bit in denial. When LA Derby Dolls made me this, and posted it at my last game (December 2010):

Champs was always on my birthday weekend.

Everyone kept wishing me a happy "retirement" and I was like, 

Not retired! Just taking a break!!!

Which I may still be, it's hard to say how you're gonna feel in a year, or two, down the line. 

I am absolutely still passionate about the sport!!! 

But... I pretty much accomplished all my goals as a skater. I mean, all of the personal goals I had for me, I accomplished them!

 

There's only one goal I have left in roller derby: and that's to see it be a professional sport.

And I really see myself more as a coach than a skater, when that happens. 

I enjoy playing/practicing from time to time, but I'm just more passionate about coaching at this point. And doing whatever I can to help further the level of play on a world level. 

Seem to have made this unexpected shift from "skater who's hungry to improve every year and coaches sometimes" 

 to "coach who's proud to help/inspire other people improve" over the last few months...

Completely booked solid for 2011!

But, of course, I totally reserve the right to change my mind... How could I not??

I wanna thank all the leagues who've hosted me this year. I have a great time doing what I do, and while it's definitely not all glamor like some people think it is... 

I am more fulfilled/inspired by what I'm doing right now than I've felt since I started SDDD. 

So, thanks and love to every one of you who have been a part of that with me!!!

You have a totally inspiredamazingmindblowingkickyourfeetupandshoutabout it RAD day today!

Here's my parting gifts, till next time we meet!