Funny thing about unhappiness... you can feel totally trapped in it one day, and another just feel like, "This blows and I'm not gonna do it anymore."
But the resolve is immediately tested by being forced to deal with all the bullshit you were trying so hard to be distracted from in the first place...
Well, for me that came in the form of getting rid of everyone but one best friend. (She lives in San Bernadino so she was never around for the unhealthy stage anyways.) And of course, the patient love of my life who had to deal with my... let's just call it... emotional apocalypse.
So, friendless (by choice, but it was a hard choice), I found myself stuck in a 6 month lease with no room mate (in the days before craigslist, how did we live??) in a ghetto as fuck, two story townhouse, aka The Isolation Chamber.
In order to afford it I had to work two jobs so I kept pretty busy. Still, I'd come home to whole lot of lonely, and it completely sucked being alone with my thoughts all that time!
But... it was honestly the best thing that ever happened to me. I recommend an Isolation period to anyone. It's awful and it's wonderful because alone with yourself you have no choice but to find out who you are.
One night I saw some old footage of the Rolling Stones in their acid-taking scarf-wearing glory days and thought: "See, they did something different and it worked for them."
I wrote in a journal: "I'm different, I've always known it. Different people just have to do different things. I don't know what that means for me, but I hope it's fun!"
I started writing my first goals in the Isolation Chamber (I'm an obsessive goal writer now). The first two:
1) Never suffer another long term period of depression again.
2) Build a circle of friends who only bring good into my life.
I guess you can see where this is going....
Have a rad day today! Here's my parting gift:
Oh, and don't forget about this little guy!
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