Maybe it's because of the raw honesty in this blog, or just part of being known as a someone who's lasted a long time in the sport.
Or because I look happy in all my pictures?
I'm often asked,
And the simple answer is: I don't.
I experience the full range of human emotions, like everybody else.
In fact, I have a past that includes many years of depression.
And, being ambitious, I (usually) feel like I'm in way over my head and just doggy paddling to keep my head above surface. With a smile!
 |
| : ] |
That said, I am a happy person the majority of the time now, and here's one secret to my stamina, if you wanna know it:
I give myself (at least) one day to die. Every week.
My theory is:
In order to keep it together, sometimes I just have to let myself fall apart.
Some issues require a bigger breakdown than others.
But just for week to week maintenance, it pretty much looks like a day of:
~staying in the house
~a bare minimum of speaking to anyone about anything
~pajamas, food, movies, books, writing
~saying "no" to even the most fun sounding offers of things to do
~looking as haggard as I wanna look: getting "dressed" might never happen We all have insecurities, we all have negative thoughts and emotions. I give myself a day to just let it all out and be a big mess.
And on those days, I have a few tricks for working it all out of my system, so I don't have to carry emotional baggage with me everywhere else I go during my heavily scheduled weeks.
Here's what a couple of them are, if you wanna give it a try:
**I do this with writing, feel free to let it inspire you to do something that fits your lifestyle, if writing is not your thing. Like drawing, painting, singing, dancing, exercise other than derby... everyone has their own method of self expression.**
Dumping:
1) Write "Stuff I'm Getting Rid Of" at the top of a piece of paper.
2) Without any care for proper wording or punctuation, dump out every thought in your head that starts with the words "I'm scared that..." or "I feel shitty about...." No judgment, just dumping it all out.
3) On a fresh sheet of paper write something like "Good things Coming In" or "Things I'm Totally Grateful For" or, "Affirmations" and write about only good feelings, reasons you're awesome, things you have or want to look forward to.
Burn and Release:
1) Write Stuff I'm Getting Rid Of at the top of a piece of paper.
2) Dump it all out.
3) Literally burn the piece(s) of paper (in a safe place, like a metal tin) and say, "I'm releasing all this fear and negativity and replacing it things that are awesome."
4) As you watch all that old stuff and old feelings burn away, visualize all the new feelings and things you wanna bring in.
 |
| Just make sure you're being smart about it, if you do the burn and release! |
I pretty much save the Burn And Release for the Big problems. Or stuff that feels too private and/or toxic for me to leave in writing anywhere, even my journal.
I try to keep a regular practice of Dumping, though.
Like other kinds of dumping, it can make you feel much lighter!
Like you're not carrying around so much... ok, that's gone far enough.
I guess the whole point of this is to say:
To me, it's better to "embrace the suck" from time to time and let yourself feel it all, so you can fully release it and move on.
That's how I do it.
Whatever way you work it out, have a superfantasticmagicalspecialfunctionalhappyhealthyRAD day!
Here's my parting gifts:
No comments:
Post a Comment