enakblog: Go With Grace

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Go With Grace

In a previous post, I introduced the rough gem/diamond analogy to this blog...

Now I'd like to take it a step further. So come along with me, on a

Roller derby fulfills a lot of needs in women. One of them being: to find out what all we're capable of.

How much can we use our passion to manifest into the world? How much magic can we make, or things can we bring to life from seemingly out of nowhere??

And, in this desire to discover what our potential is, we often take on way too much, and ignore all the signs that say

I can speak to this because I founded/ran a league, worked on every committee, coached, played at the All Star level, and devoted myself to every aspect of SDDD, to an obsessive degree; for way more years than any sane person should....

One of my frustrations as the leader was a constantly recurring theme:

The rising star, business wise: KILLING IT with committee work, only to up and quit half way through a season. Leaving a gaping hole in their place.

And... then there's the rising star, socially: WORKING IT with winning everyone over, getting onto a team. Only to up and quit half way through a season over some stupid argument.

Leaving a gaping hole in their place.

It's not a good way to go. There's no real closure, so a feeling of weirdness becomes pervasive.

This picture is in no way related. It's just awesome, and I wanted you to have it.

And the Rising/Falling Star would occur in no less than 10 people a year, BTW. So if it feels like I'm talking about you, you were not alone.

Being the person who had to pick up the slack in between Rising/Falling Stars was really exhausting, and probably took a couple years off of my skating career. (ie: MY LIFE!)

So I share the following wisdom for those of you who can already feel the urge to throw up your hands and say "Fuck It," creeping into your consciousness:

Don't go out like that. Go with grace.

Here's some suggestions on how to Go With Grace:

*Devise an exit strategy

*Make it known to your league

*Give as many months' notice as you can

*Offer to/start training a replacement for yourself

*Keep all of your bridges in tact on the way out

It's totally not like James Dean, here; with committee work and social rising stars, it's actually MUCH better to fade away than let yourself burn out.

Trust me, I've done both, and fading away (going with Grace) is much more respectful to everyone involved, including yourself.

In closing, the analogy continues:

You come to derby a rough gem, and through your social interactions, are ground into a shiny diamond. As long as it's making you better, keep going.

But when you start to turn into something you don't like, get bitter, or chipped around the edges: it's time to GO WITH GRACE.

If you're just starting out, and in the full on Rising phase, it might be hard to imagine ever needing this advice.

But just remember, everything goes in cycles. How smooth or rough your cycles run, well... That's up to you!