Alternative title to post- And Those Were The Last Words He Ever Spoke...
“You are a very, very nice person, really. I just wish you were, you know, better packaged.”
“You know, I would love to introduce you to my sister, but you need to lose some weight first or she’ll never take me seriously. She ‘ll think I’m having her on.”
“Just having read a lot of books does not make you a lover of literature.”
“Erm, is that cellulite?”
“I wish you were even half as beautiful inside as you are on the outside.” (To see what brought that on, read this)
“I don’t want to hurt you. I love you! I just think a deoderant would do you a world of good.”
“Woooh, I really need to teach you how to kiss, baby.”
“That is one uncultured girl.” (Ok, this from a bloke’s dad)
“She’s nice. But you have to keep aesthetics in mind when you choose a girl.” (Another dad)
“Whoa! Biceps!!”
“You know, if you let your hair fall to your face maybe you wouldn’t look so bad.”
“Did you stop growing in fifth grade?”
“Sweety, its ok you don’t have any talent. I still love you”
“Florentino Ariza was a pussy-whipped loser” (eight years on this still makes my blood boil.)
“I’ve never hidden anything from my mother, and it pains me that I now have to hide the dirtiness of your past from her now” (the dirtiness refers to the fact that I had a previous boyfriend)
“I’m not trying to change you. I just want you use the goddam fairness cream. Please? For me?”
“You know, I would love to introduce you to my sister, but you need to lose some weight first or she’ll never take me seriously. She ‘ll think I’m having her on.”
“Just having read a lot of books does not make you a lover of literature.”
“Erm, is that cellulite?”
“I wish you were even half as beautiful inside as you are on the outside.” (To see what brought that on, read this)
“I don’t want to hurt you. I love you! I just think a deoderant would do you a world of good.”
“Woooh, I really need to teach you how to kiss, baby.”
“That is one uncultured girl.” (Ok, this from a bloke’s dad)
“She’s nice. But you have to keep aesthetics in mind when you choose a girl.” (Another dad)
“Whoa! Biceps!!”
“You know, if you let your hair fall to your face maybe you wouldn’t look so bad.”
“Did you stop growing in fifth grade?”
“Sweety, its ok you don’t have any talent. I still love you”
“Florentino Ariza was a pussy-whipped loser” (eight years on this still makes my blood boil.)
“I’ve never hidden anything from my mother, and it pains me that I now have to hide the dirtiness of your past from her now” (the dirtiness refers to the fact that I had a previous boyfriend)
“I’m not trying to change you. I just want you use the goddam fairness cream. Please? For me?”
Painting by Dali
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