I could have a software that would go through my mail, locate all the forwarded mails that are not funny, naughty, or disgusting (it would simply have to search for key-words like love, friendship, God, cancer, happiness; and diabetes-inducing pictures of babies, teddybears, and puppies), delete all such mails automatically, block the sender from mailing/chatting with/scrapping me FOREVER UNTIL ETERNITY, and send a mild non-life-threatening-merely-paralysing-for few weeks electric shock through the internet back at all the sadistic creeps.
If i can't have that, then dear fruit of god's loin, please let me have a feature on my mobile phone that will permanently lock the SIM card and also render unusable the handset of any person who sends me another forwarded sweet friendship message in the middle of the night, or any other time for that matter.
Its a long week ahead.
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