Of Bhais and Names

I've always been a fan of Sanjay Dutt. I've loved him in Munnabhai, Kaante, Vastav, and most of his other movies, and I used to see him as a man who has had to repent more than he has sinned. All my sympathies have been with him in spite of all that people say about him. But something changed yesterday morning while I was reading the morning papers and came across an interview of my hero.

Mr. Dutt was asked about his sisters' publicly negative reactions to his wife Manyata. His answer was - " Good women change their surnames to that of their husbands after marriage. I have no sympathy with women who cling on to their father's names even after marriage. If Manyata had told me she wanted to keep her last name, I would have been extremely offended and would not have permitted this in any circumstances."

My reaction was simply "EXCUSE ME???" I just couldn't believe what I was reading! The NERVES on this audacious bastard!!

His dig was obviously at his sister Priya who remains a Dutt though she is married. Priya Dutt has inherited her father's political mantle, much to her brother's chagrin.
I don't want to go into their murky family feuds. But I just want to put this on record that I believe this expectation that men have that of course their wives will take their names after marriage is a CROCK OF CRAP. And its disgusting how so many girls go along with this expectation, as if it is the culmination of all their dreams have their identity redefined.

Don't get me wrong. Most ladies I know use their husbands' last names. Most of my friends do too. In fact someone who I know is reading this post uses both her husband's first and last name (his first name as her middle name). But I sincerely hope, at least in case of women my age, that this change of name was a choice they made voluntarily, and not because of the expectaions of society.
A woman does not become her husband's property after marriage, so what is this deal about stamping your wife with your identity. What is wrong with her own? And if you feel you and your wife should have the same last name, why don't you consider changing to hers?

A point made out by many of course is that even if you are not taking your husband's name, you are holding on to your father's, so how is that any better. But look, my family name is the one I've had for more than two decades. Why will it have to change all of a sudden? To what purpose? A wedding is NOT supposed to be a transfer of property. A wife is also a human being, and she has the right to hold on to the name the world has known her by. Your name is your identity, or at least a part of it.

And it is a RUBBISH concept that a woman's family changes after marriage. Sure, her husband's family becomes her own, but there is no logical reason that she should stop being a part of the family she has known since birth.

People, the gender equation in our country is totally screwed. What has existed for generations is not neccessarily right or just. At least think about change sometime.

And oh, as you can probably tell by the photograph I've edited as above, I am no longer a fan of Mr. Sanjay "Keep your womenfolk in control" Dutt.

I can just hear Anik snickering "reactionary!". :-D